We all get angry at times in our lives, but the people who learn to deal with their anger issues will be the most successful in life.
Anger management is really a matter of dealing with stressful situations in your life. When things happen to you that you feel are wrong or unfair, you get mad. You may act out or you may internalize it. It all depends on your personality. Neither one is good. You will either hurt someone else, either physically or emotionally, or you will hurt yourself physically or emotionally. Internalizing anger and not releasing it properly can lead to many different diseases.
There are some legitimate reasons to be angry or upset. For example if you are robbed or mugged, you will feel very bad or even that the world is out to get you. What you need to realize is that, most likely it is just a random event that could have happened to anyone. Unfortunately, in this kind of an extreme case, the after effects will last a while. If you can’t seem to deal with it on your own, you may want to seek the help of a trained psychologist to help you through.
For the typical person, it seems even normal everyday situations can get them angry. For example, one of your friends has an extra ticket to a rock concert and knows you are a fan of the group, but invites someone he works with instead of you. Instead of asking the person about it, you get angry at him and don’t return his calls or tell him you are busy every time he does. Often times, if you put yourself in the other persons shoes, you can figure out a reason they might have done what they did. Use your imagination and you will be surprised what you come up with. It can certainly make you feel better until you get to speak to that person, and it might even help you do so, wanting to hear what they have to say as compared to your own conclusions.
In the above example, perhaps the person at work that was invited wasn’t pulling his weight at the office and dumping some work on your friend that he should have been doing himself. Your friend was simply trying to have a better relationship with this person or get on his good side, hoping this would help with the work situation. If you think of it in this way, then you really can’t blame your friend for doing so.
Some other things you can do if little things get you upset are; taking a walk to clear your thinking and get away from the situation, beat a pillow with your fist to let go of your frustrations or writing your feelings down on paper, for your eyes only. These things may sound corny to some, especially if you are angry at the time, but they can help if you give them a try. You have nothing to lose, but your anger.
Remember, to take some deep breaths when you are angry and talk to the person you are angry with when you have calmed down a while. Most of the time you can work it out or get a reasonable explanation for the other persons actions. Communication can play a key role in anger management and dissolving situations fast.