We’ve all known at least one genuinely charismatic ‘people’ person at some time in our lives. This is the sort of person who can walk into a room full of strangers and be chatting away comfortably in no time. Such a person can charm others into helping them achieve their goals, supporting and defending them.
Charismatic and personable qualities are the wind beneath the wings of individuals who are blessed with them. This is because people rally around them and desire to help them. In turn, they support and help others earning trust and loyalty. The enormous advantages that come from social skills cannot be underestimated.
Take inventory of your social skills. Use those that you have and develop those that you lack. If you are willing to develop yourself personally, you will become a more self-empowered person. Make it a goal to become a ‘people’ person and you will automatically become more successfully. The first step is to know how to start.
1. Be Authentic.
Live an authentic life in harmony with your own values. Do not try to manipulate people by pretending to like them or agree with them. Rather, be genuine in your relationships. Other people will recognize hypocrisy and instead of being helped, you will be hindered.
2. Listen Carefully.
It is important not only to hear what someone is saying to you, but to make the effort to understand what they are trying to convey. An important aspect of a truly socially empowered person is the ability to understand and empathize. Look in people’s eyes as they talk and don’t let your mind wander to other subjects. People can recognize a dazed expression when they see one.
3. Laugh A Lot.
Be happy and be willing to laugh out loud. People with a good sense of humor are attractive to other people and consequently also attract success. Of course, if you laugh at inappropriate times it will back fire on you, so learn to be socially aware.
4. Take Care of Yourself.
As you work on improving your social skills, you can become so other-centered that it can be easy to neglect your own needs. Self neglect drives people away and doesn’t make you a more likable person. So it is important to maintain boundaries with others and teach people how you wish to be treated. Love and respect yourself first.
5. Be Kind.
You don’t have to spend money you don’t have to be kind. The small courtesies can make all the difference. Sending a thank you card or helping someone carry groceries to their car can lift someone’s spirits. Do you remember being taught as a little child to share with others and to be kind? The busyness and stress of life as an adult can sometimes make those childhood lessons seem very distant. It’s time to bring them back and make them central to your life.
6. Keep In Touch With Old Friends.
We have all lost friends as the years have gone by. Not because of fall outs but because life takes us different places. It is a shame but with modern internet technology it is now possible to keep in touch easily as long as you have a computer and an internet connection. Why not get back in touch with old friends and create an easy way to keep in contact? This can be a very healing and supportive decision.
7. Improve Your Personality.
If you are negative and unhappy most of the time then you probably already know that people don’t like to be around if you are in those states. If you want your personality to work for you and not against you, it is important to overcome negative personality traits.
8. Act Confidently.
There is a difference between arrogance and confidence. Genuine confidence comes from a sense of personal competence and being comfortable in your own skin. Be relaxed and be your best self.
9. Stay In Control.
No matter how stressed you feel, make an effort to stay calm. Don’t lose your temper and absolutely never throw a tantrum. It just makes you look weak. Learn to maturely take control of difficult situations and transform negative emotions into productive responses. If you can’t control your temper, people will not be able to trust you.
10. Nurture Your Relationships.
Your relationships are your most precious resource. Family and friends are very important and if you neglect these relationships they can deteriorate. Instead, why not deliberately nurture your closest relationships and do things to enjoy them. Our sense of well being is closely linked to our relationships with those closest to us.
True self empowerment cannot be separated from social skills. Being likable and emotionally predictable is important. Not only will others know you are a port in a storm, but you also will have support through difficult situations.