At the end of the day, fear is usually the fundamental source of anger and it is more often than not the root of the problem when you have difficulty managing your anger, when you have issues of dealing with substance abuse or you are suffering with some kind of mental illness. When you eventually discover exactly how to overcome this fear you will be taking the first steps to gaining control of your anger, and therefore, the rest of your life.
The use of rational self-talk methods is one of the best known ways of dealing and coming to terms with fear. If you are the kind of person who is very negative in thoughts, forever settling for what will be will be, you will need to adopt a whole new attitude and do you know why? It’s because in the majority of cases, you can actually do something to prevent the happenings if you want to and if you really put your mind to it.
Thinking in a negative way gets you absolutely nowhere and can often increase the chances of you going over the top and exploding completely when your anger develops. When you refuse at any cost to see the positive side of things you are only showing how shallow in the mind you are and the constant belief that you are hopeless will ensure that your anger is allowed to rule you as a person and the associated problems will never cease to exist. For example, you have a few beers in a bar on a night out with some friend, and then you get in your car to drive home and during the journey you get pulled over by the police. In this instance, you are the one that has set yourself up to fail. Why didn’t you get a cab back or ask someone who had not been drinking alcohol to drive you home?
The best and only way forward is to change what you are able to change and leave alone what you cannot do anything about. Take each day as it comes. There really is no point in allowing eruptions of anger to take place for something that happened last week or last month. It has been and gone and you cannot do anything about it so let it go and concentrate on the next twenty four hours.
Learning to appreciate what you already have and what you do is much more important than stressing yourself about things which are out of your control. Each and every one of us has difficult decisions to make in life and this may sometimes also involve solving a problem as we go along. As long as you take the necessary steps the world will not fall apart so make sure you evaluate the problem with care.
Work out exactly what the problem involves, pull out all the stops in looking at the resources you have available to deal with the problem and then get on with it straight away. If you put it off it will only make matters worse. When the outcome is successful, give yourself a well earned pat on the back as a reward.
If the problem is not solved, this does not automatically make your life unlivable. It simply means the problem has to be further addressed. Life in general is full of ups and downs and we all have to deal with our share of problems. Try not to let your emotions get the better of you by allowing your anger to take over. Don’t forget, although fear is the root of anger and once mastered you will know you are on your way to victory, it is also healthy when used in a sensible manner. Sensible being the operative word.