Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap ourselves up, we always come up with the idea of â€œI wish I was somebody else.â€ More often than not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us.- when in reality, the fact is, most people are more scared than us.
You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a glass of Asti Spumanti. You think to yourself, â€œshe looks so perfectly calm and confident.â€ But if you could read thru her transparent mind, you would see a bunch of clouds of thoughts and you might just be amazed that sheâ€™s thinking â€œare people talking about why I am seated here alone?… Why donâ€™t guys find me attractive? â€¦I donâ€™t like my ankles, they look too skinnyâ€¦ I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.â€
We look at a young business entrepreneur and say â€œWoohâ€¦ what else could he ask for?â€ He stares at himself at the mirror and murmur to himself, â€œI hate my big eyesâ€¦ I wonder why my friends wonâ€™t talk to meâ€¦ I hope mom and dad would still work things out.â€
Isnâ€™t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and thinks of the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.
Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting off your finger nails, having a foul mouth, and you â€“ of all people, is the last to know.
I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever sheâ€™s around, and she doesnâ€™t notices how badly she became socially handicapped â€“ gradually affecting the people in her environment.
One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like â€œdo you think I am ill-mannered?â€, â€œDo I always sound so argumentative?â€, â€œDo I talk too loud?â€, â€œDoes my breath smell?â€, â€œDo I ever bore you when were together?â€. In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and donâ€™t give her answers like â€œDonâ€™t exaggerate! Thatâ€™s just the way I am!â€ Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her improve her self.
One of Whitney Houstonâ€™s songs says â€œLearning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.â€ True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.
Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.
Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the repetitive thought of â€œIf only I was richerâ€¦ if only I was thinnerâ€ and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that weâ€™ve got 10 more reasons to envy them.
We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life need not to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves.Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. Itâ€™s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.