Everyone needs to learn to cope with anger; having a fit of rage is counterproductive and causes, rather than solves problems. We learn how to process anger as we grow; unfortunately not everyone learns how to do this in a healthy manner. Despite your upbringing, you may have still never learned to appropriately cope with anger. For instance, take a child who is rarely praised but frequently punished. This child will very likely grow up to be an adult who ends up punishing his or herself when they make mistakes and has serious problems expressing or controlling anger.
However, most mistakes, even relatively serious ones have no long lasting impact on out lives; so it makes little sense to beat ourselves up over them. Instead, learn from your mistakes. By using positive thinking, you can get a handle on your anger. Anger can be useful when it is channeled into constructive action. However it can also be a powerful negative force in our lives. You can control your anger, or you can allow it to control you.
Control, or the lack of it is the cause of much anger. Learn to talk to yourself; this can be a useful strategy for managing anger. Take a little time out each day (say 15 minutes) to talk over things with yourself. Examine any negative feelings you have and try to figure out why you feel this way. Go over the positive things you do every day and give yourself a pat on the back. If you have made a mistake and are beating yourself up over it, take this time t put things in context. Remember that everyone makes mistakes from time to time.
If you find yourself getting angry at the drop of a hat; screaming, breaking things and so on think for a minute about this when you are taking things over with yourself. If you’ve broken things you’ll obviously need to clean it up. You will have accomplished nothing by this other than having had to take some extra time to clean up. You’ve wasted your time, your energy and likely your money to replace whatever you’ve smashed. You are upsetting yourself further when you scream and rant; this can contribute to health problems like hypertension. Just some things to think about.
Think about ways to deal positively with your anger. Step back for a second when you feel your anger about to take over. You’ll probably find you don’t really have cause to be so angry. However, if there’s a very good reason for you to be angry then think about a good way to use this anger. Remember that more flies are caught with honey…. If you are angry as a result of non stop stress, you then need a strategy for dealing with stress.
Make time for yourself to relax in your schedule. Prioritize your tasks throughout the day to get things done efficiently; this will lower your stress. Don’t procrastinate; this will lead to things piling up. Remember that you are not a superhuman being and you can’t do it all at once and you will make an occasional mistake.
Remind yourself that nothing is permanent. If you made a mistake, it will pass. If you set yourself up for a fall, don’t be surprised when that happens. If you set unrealistic expectations for yourself, stress will be the end result. Take a deep breath, calm down and take things a day at a time – this can help you to effectively cope with stress and anger.