So you’ve worked very hard on building your self-confidence. It was a struggle, but you finally got there.
You’re understandably proud of your achievements and determined that you’re never going back to the way you were as your old un-confident self.
It has no doubt come as a complete shock to you that not everyone seems to be happy with your new, confident self. Some, perhaps even some who are very close to you, seem to want the old, un-confident you, back.
How do you handle this? Well, in a nutshell, you need to be firm with them. You need to make it absolutely clear that they’re going to have to get used to the new you, that you’re not going back to the way you were.
You need to understand where they’re coming from. They probably feel threatened by the new, more confident you. Clearly the dynamic in your relationship with them has changed. Before they probably had the upper hand, and they were happy with that. Now they can’t push you around anymore and they don’t like it.
You have to use your new-found confidence or you’ll lose it, so it’s important that you don’t backslide. You need to make it clear to the people around you that you’re still essentially you but that you’ve developed and grown as a person and you’re not going back to the way you were before.
If you stand firm you’ll find that eventually the people close to you will learn to accept the new you – you just need to be clear, calmly but firmly, that they are going to have to accept who you are now, because that’s the way you’re going to stay.
You have to learn to rise above any personal criticism you may receive. Accept that you are not going to be able to please all those people around you all of the time. You have every right to remain true to yourself, If you do this firmly but calmly, eventually you can act as a catalyst for change on those in your circle.
Remember, you can be assertive without being aggressive. You just have to acknowledge that you have a perfect right to your thoughts and feelings and to act in accordance with them and everyone else is just going to have to get used to that.
You worked really hard to overcome your confidence issues – much too hard not to do everything in your power to hold on to the new you. That is your absolute right.