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Confidence and Self-Esteem

If you are confident about your abilities, then you have high self-esteem. This is not something you are born with but rather developed and with it, you can be a winner.

But how do you get it? Well, you start to build it up from the moment you were born. If they raised you right, you will know what is right from wrong.

conf_esteem_wOne way you will learn about that is to get disapproval sometimes for tasks that you did not do properly. You can also get it for doing something that you were not supposed to do but if this was explained properly, you will know that this is something that must never be done. This will enable you to have good decision making skills because there are consequences for everything you do.

So you are confident to take certain risks, your parents will encourage you try things and then be there if things don’t work out. This will already teach you a little about your limits and you will soon learn more of that in the future.

From here, you already get the idea that building your self-esteem is not always about winning. Sometimes you have to lose and face a few setbacks to make you a better person.

In sports, there is such a thing called sportsmanship. This is when you accept that you lost and shake your opponent’s hand. By being able to recognise the achievements of others, you will soon have the courage to try better and maybe next time, the outcome will be different.

Another thing that builds self-esteem is individuality. We are all born different. Some have dark skin while others are lighter. Some are taller while others are shorter. Self-esteem teaches us to accept who we are so we must never wish for things that we don’t have.

But are your parents the only ones that will make you feel confident and develop self-esteem? The answer is no because later, you will go to school so this will also be further developed by your teachers and your friends.

In school, there are rules you need to follow similar to those that are done at home. With your friends, one of the challenges is not giving in to peer pressure but this is not easy since we want to fit in.

With the different people around, you might get confused who to believe. When this happens, you just have to trust your instinct. If you hear something bad, learn to ignore it and only accept what sounds good to your ears.

Confidence and self-esteem go hand in hand because without the other, you will not be able to appreciate who you are or even have the courage to take some risks. Do you have it? That is something you have to answer for yourself but one way you can assess yourself is to write down on a piece of paper your qualities and your accomplishments.

If you have not done that much in your life, it is never too late to start trying. If you need help, get the support of your family and friends. You can even get the help of a specialist who can figure out a plan to help you achieve your dreams which would not be possible without confidence and self-esteem.

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{ 3 comments… add one }
  • Lindy Asimus April 18, 2009, 11:20 am

    I recommend anyone looking into the issue of self-esteem and to understand it better to investigate the writings of Nathaniel Branden. His work on self esteem is excellent, and he has published numerous articles as well as his book The Six Pillars of Self Esteem, as is his companion book Living Consciously.

  • cheap diamond dental burs April 20, 2009, 6:53 am

    A friend recommended your site to me. Glad he did, as it looks very worthwhile. Looking forward to learning lots here. Lance

  • BradM April 20, 2009, 10:17 pm

    thanks for making an essential point that so many people don’t understand… self-esteem is something you can cultivate. you don’t need to be born with it. great post.

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